Film Corner: Pirates of the Caribbean 5

I’m back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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And I’m trying out a new blog feature.

Because who doesn’t love getting emotionally invested in yet more fictional characters’ lives, right?

BBC sherlock bbc benedict cumberbatch sherlock holmes GIF but we’re not going to forget this in a hurry, are we?

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(me watching TV.)

ANYWAY, this post was supposed to be a review of the latest Pirates of the Caribbean film and all I’ve done is use Sherlock gifs so I’m going to shut up now and get on with it.

*mild spoilers ahead*

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Right, so let me start off by saying that I am NOT a POTC fan. I saw about five minutes of the first one (or maybe it was the third one) and the only thing I liked was the music. But that was a while ago, and I’m less fussy about the types of films I see, so when my friend was like this

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I agreed to go and see the latest addition to a film series which a lot of people said should have ended after 2.

But it wasn’t too hard to work out what had happened in the interlude because there was a scene at the start which kind of caught you up and told you what the main focus was going to be.

So this time around, Jack Sparrow’s latest scheme goes wrong (when do they not?) and his crew leaves him and he goes for a drink (when does he not?) and his old nemesis, Captain Salazar, escapes from the Devil’s Triangle through a really obvious plot device which is hinted at up until he makes his escape. Jack’s only hope of survival (doubtful) is Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann’s son who wants the Trident of Poseidon to free his dad and an astronomer (accused of being a witch) who wants to decode a map left to her by her father.

To be honest,  this

is a fairly accurate representation of how I felt during the first half hour. Johnny Depp didn’t really do much but make snappy one-liners and staggered about a bit playing up the drunk pirate, and the whole bank-stealing-losing-all-the-treasure thing went on for a bit too long.

But the pace started to pick up a bit around the 45 (ish) minute mark and things got better. Kaya Scodelario wasn’t as whiny as Elizabeth Swann in the first one (sue me) and the reveal (which I won’t reveal here) was not one any of us in the cinema was expecting going by the amount of gasping going on around me, and so I can honestly say that I don’t regret going to see Dead Men Tell No Tales.

When’s the next one?

I have not been paid for this review. The opinions here are mine and mine only.

Gifs courtesy of Giphy